The writers at Pollestad.Net are good friends of GDNF.  Here are some of our favorite quotes:

  • I just scrolled so far back on my Facebook Timeline that it logged me back into MySpace.
  • Between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson, one of them was doing the moonwalk very, very wrong. Just not sure which.
  • I’m putting handsome people in wheelchairs and calling them roll models.
  • Vanilla Ice would make the world’s most annoying pirate, probably. All day, he’s like, “check out my hook” while some asshole DJ spins swashbuckling tunes behind him.
  • I like to say “gross balls, bro” to the guy at the next urinal, so he knows I’m not gay.
  • “I Know What You Did Last Summer” but it’s just a link to your Facebook photo album entitled “July/August 2012.”
  • OK, people who still put “The Club” on their 14 year old busted up vehicle, we all talked and everyone agreed not to steal your car, so you can stop doing that now.
  • I responded to a survey about what I do as an employee to help make the company more green with: “On Tuesdays, I set fire to any non-hybrid car in the parking garage.”
  • Every time someone watches Jersey Shore, a book dies.
  • ..and then, all at once, not a single person was kung-fu fighting.
  • Know that if we hug, I’m holding on for an extra 2-3 seconds past awkward.
  • Work Experiment #389: Going to bring a suitcase of cologne and breath mints into the bathroom this morning and just kind of see where the day takes me.
  • Hey Liam Neeson, at some point, people are going to stop blaming your daughter for disappearing and start looking at your poor parenting skills.
  • Hey Taco Bell, let’s settle down. You made a taco shell out of a tortilla chip; it’s not like you found a cure for cancer.
  • I’m one good status update away from having one good status update.
  • When grabbing a coffee at Starbucks, make sure you that end every order with “no homo.” Otherwise, the barista might think less of you for ordering a caramel latte.
  • According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you’re actually a few million years too late. The star is already dead, just like your dreams.

Here are some of our favorite posts:

Responding to real spam messages pretending to be interested and seeing how long we can string them on:

  • Jack

    I approve of this.